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Saturday, September 24, 2011

Dating


My boyfriend and I of a year have officially broken up . . . again . . . almost 3 weeks ago. Its been rough emotionally, but the experience has been drawing me closer to God and His plan for my life. Seems immediately, guys have been coming out of the woodwork wanting to date, but I haven't been interested, at least not right now. Thinking about the events of my last relationship, I feel that I have the chance now to gain more intimacy with God, and vice versa.
Lately, God has been showing me myself and my modus operandi (method of operations) in past relationships and how/why they end. I'm beginning to understand that as a Christian, you're held to such a higher standard than everyone else, at least in God's eyes. I notice that when I do things I shouldn't, I get punished, openly, while it seems that others do what ever they want, how ever they want, with whom ever they want. Here is what God has been telling me about even the THOUGHT of being in a relationship.
Firstly:
Give not (do not give) that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest (or else) they (will) trample them (your pearls) under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
Matthew 7:6

So I understand the whole pearls before swine and so on; bad guys have been called "pigs" and "dogs" long before my time, but the "rending" part, is the part of major caution and concern. I looked up the term "rend" and here is what I discovered:
rend: tear (something) into two or more pieces : snapping teeth that would rend human flesh to shreds | figurative the speculation and confusion that was rending the civilized world. • [ trans. ] archaic wrench (something) violently : he rent the branch out of the tree. poetic/literary cause great emotional pain to (a person or their heart).

No wonder I was getting hurt. No wonder I was emotionally wrecked and my heart torn apart. Not to say that "Mr. Right" couldn't hurt you too, but my relationships, as of late, ended in so much emotional pain that my heart felt as though it were ripped out of my body. I realized one common denominator in each one, me, and I was giving too much; casting my pearl before swine.
God let me know that I should never give something I should only give to someone who is my husband, including my body. This was such a revelation to me. I could go on and on, but I won't, but I do plan to add more about this later.

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